Hang on. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride! Narcissists and Divorce

Hang on. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride! Narcissists and Divorce

You might conclude that the only way to end your marital issues after years of putting up with narcissistic behavior from your spouse is through a divorce. Sadly, getting a divorce from a narcissist might be harder than it sounds.

Here is a list of some things that might come up while divorcing a person with a narcissistic personality disorder. In addition, we offer some good advice on how to handle them:

1. It’s likely that they will oppose settlements.

Many couples choose settlement over courtroom battles. After all, this choice reduces stress on spouses and kids while also saving time and money. Unfortunately, narcissists frequently reject divorce agreements. Focusing on the divorce's most crucial problems will help you save money and time if you anticipate a protracted process. With the assistance of your lawyer, you can determine when it is and is not worthwhile to fight for what you want.

2. They may attempt to destroy important documents or papers.

Before filing for divorce, gathering all relevant financial documents and information is crucial. However, obtaining these records before filing is much more important if you're married to a narcissist. After all, your spouse might empty bank accounts or sabotage paperwork to conceal assets.

In an effort to harm your reputation, they might also try to gain access to your email and social media accounts. You may even want to have your phone or automobile tested for trackers or other monitoring equipment, depending on the facts of your case.

3. They might try to use the children to influence you.

Most people desire to take all action possible to lessen the impact of a divorce on the kids. However, narcissists frequently manipulate kids to further their agendas or enhance their own image. For instance, a narcissist may want to obtain complete custody in order to appear to be a better parent. Don't wait to involve a family lawyer in the case as soon as possible if you have concerns regarding matters including child custody or support.

4. They might try to sway you against your better judgment.

A narcissist may attempt to persuade their partner to reconsider having a divorce. A narcissistic spouse may gaslight you about mistakes made during the marriage. In addition, they may promise to reform or shower you with gifts in order to persuade you to give them just one more chance. However, don't allow these strategies to sway you if you're sure that you want to divorce. Narcissists who don't receive mental treatment frequently return to their old behaviors.

5. They'll probably try to make you feel bad.

Narcissists may lash out at those who are making them unhappy. They frequently see divorces in particular as failures. Narcissists love to win. Therefore, knowledgeable divorce lawyers are good at giving these difficult partners some minor successes to celebrate. This is an important strategy in a divorce. Sometimes it's better to let a narcissist "win" so you won't have to make concessions on other crucial issues.

6. They will try to make the case much more difficult than it needs to be.

Narcissists are almost always more difficult to divorce. Therefore, if you intend to divorce a partner you believe to be a narcissist, the best course of action is to get in touch with a skilled family law attorney as soon as possible. The best lawyers have the expertise and abilities necessary to complete your divorce as quickly and painlessly as they can.

Your Children Will Want to Know: “Why Didn’t You and Daddy Just Talk it Out?” (Hint: Use MEDIATION)

Your Children Will Want to Know: “Why Didn’t You and Daddy Just Talk it Out?” (Hint: Use MEDIATION)

When it comes to how a divorce impacts the family as a whole, there are a lot of positive aspects to consider, in addition to the fact that costly and recurring legal expenses may be saved by opting for mediation as part of the divorce process. Due to the fact that this path is dependent on collaboration, an atmosphere that is more conducive to the growth and development of children, more and more families have chosen to follow it throughout the course of time.

The following are the primary factors that contribute to mediation's rising popularity as a method of reaching agreements in divorce cases.

MEDIATION SPEEDS UP THE PROCESS

You are probably aware of the horror stories that center around the process of divorce in several US counties, where it can take many couples several years before they can legally split from one another. In spite of the fact that these are the worst-case situations, they accurately portray the time-consuming nature of litigation. When it comes to divorce, mediation often requires a lot less time to achieve a settlement than litigation does, and it also eliminates the need to take the matter to court.

FOSTERS HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PARENTS & CHILDREN

Those who have been through a divorce know that animosity simply makes the painful process for any children involved more difficult. An ever-increasing number of parents are resorting to mediation as their next step since they would like not to put their children in the middle of toxic communication between the two of them. Ultimately, participating in mediation transforms combative circumstances into cooperative communication, which paves the way for both parents to begin a new chapter. The use of mediation as part of the divorce process is especially beneficial in situations involving joint custody of children because this arrangement requires cooperation from both sets of parents.

PREVENTS CHILDREN FROM REMEMBERING Disputes Between Their Parents

Children have a greater degree of innate intelligence than the majority of adults realize. They are privy to almost all information and have a propensity to enter the room at the worst possible time. If a youngster witnesses their parents engaging in ongoing conflict, there is a possibility that their perspective on romantic partnerships will shift for the worse. Some parents choose a method known as "parallel parenting," which requires them to have their own distinct sets of rules and ways of parenting, in addition to living in different residences.

This is the best course of action to take when parents are unable to resolve their differences amicably and when it is important to shield children from potentially dangerous situations. Co-parenting is a more collaborative method that thrives off of the parents working together to create a healthy atmosphere free of disdain for their child. This technique is also known as "co-parenting." In either case, engaging in divorce mediation in order to iron out these specifics is the best way to guarantee that you will have a plan in place for the future of your children.

IF YOU HIRE A FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY WHO HAS A SETTLEMENT MINDSET, YOU CAN AVOID DIVORCE LITIGATION.

The process of getting a divorce is one that must be endured emotionally. The accompanying legal fights have a tendency to make the entire process somewhat more unpleasant, which is in addition to the resentment and fury that frequently come from a formal separation.

When a couple is considering getting a divorce, they are faced with a number of choices, each of which might lead to one of several different results. No matter what route you want to take, good attorneys are believers in the most optimal outcome, which is when a former couple chooses reconciliation so that they can finally move onto the next chapter of their lives.

When your opinion doesn’t matter: Suicidal Ideation among minors during a Divorce

When your opinion doesn’t matter: Suicidal Ideation among minors during a Divorce

What's it like for children when their family starts a legal battle over them? Unfortunately, when a family fight starts, the kids sometimes end up being the weapons. These defenseless kids have a significant chance of developing anxiety, addiction, sadness, promiscuity, a lack of interest in school, poor adjustment in general, and suicide or suicide ideation.

Families can disintegrate as a parent speaks comments that cannot be taken back and become a matter of public record. Retaliation, hatred, and rage are just a few of the many emotions that overwhelm the family environment. In addition, they can influence their children's long-term development by permeating the very air they breathe.

Why do children contemplate suicide after divorce?

As a rule, how parents choose to handle their divorce in the family, rather than the divorce itself, causes the most harm to families. The bond between parents has a direct bearing on the feelings and responses of their children.

The negative effects of stressful circumstances on mental health are getting worse.

Families need to know where to go to get the resources they need to help their kids navigate changes in the family in a secure way. In some cases, it's preferable for parents to parent separately rather than jointly. Divorce is no longer viewed merely as a failure. Instead, if the parents handle it effectively, it can be beneficial for the kids.

No one wins when an adult relationship has the potential to permanently damage a parent-child bond.

Children are often worried that things might go wrong during the transfer from one home to the other. It can be frightening, hazardous, and unclear in their world. Where homes become the battle-ground for continuous arguing about custody issues, the children suffer.

534 young people, aged 10 to 14 and 5,954 people aged 15 to 24 died by suicide in 2019, according to recent research. In addition, if the trend continues, then child and adolescent suicide rates will surpass COVID-19 fatalities.

Understanding the options available to families as they negotiate a transition in high-conflict environments against the backdrop of an uncertain time is crucial now more than ever. The suicide rate in the US is over three times higher than the homicide rate. It ranks fourth for adults aged 35 to 44 and second for those aged 10 to 24. Furthermore, divorced or separated couples have a rate that is more than twice as high as married ones.

After divorce, there is an increased risk of suicide ideation because of the Silent Parent strategy.

Once the divorce transition has started, parents often use the Silent Parent Strategy. In other words, they keep things to themselves and convince themselves that they are shielding their children from the arguments. It may be preferable for enemies to clam up and be silent. However, with families it's different. A mature and professional demeanor is always ideal for children. Therefore, parents must learn to communicate in this way, especially in a divorce.

Conclusion

Parents who want to help their children have a more successful and safe transition through a divorce can help them by learning to communicate properly, recognize the dangers, get help when needed, and listen to their children’s needs before, during and after a divorce.

Narcissism and Mediation: What to Know & What NOT to do

Narcissism and Mediation: What to Know & What NOT to do

Today, narcissism is a hot topic. More than 30% of mediation instances involving narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It's crucial for mediators to comprehend narcissistic ex-partners and for clients to know what to highlight to experts. These 6 traits help you spot a narcissist:

The truth is flexible for narcissists.

A narcissist's truth changes from day to day. As mediators, we can notice this narcissistic tendency if a client contradicts themselves. In finance cases, this could show up when facts like self-employment income seem to change. In children's cases, different stories or explanations surface at different junctures. If you question this as a mediator, you could be met with statements about how you don't understand the information and that it's your inadequacy that's at fault.

A narcissist gaslights by distorting the victim's reality, feelings, and recollection of events.

More gaslighting means the victim will trust the narcissist and doubt their own actions and thinking. As mediators, clients frequently try to subjectively explain the legal system to us or undercut our expertise and/or knowledge.

A narcissist who is masquerading as a victim might make a strong and heartfelt appeal to professionals that they have been the victim of the other person's abuse,

but they won't appear 'broken' - they won't exhibit confusion, despair or worry over the financial cost of all of this, they won't show any uncertainty about where to go or who to approach for help, and they won't ever pry.

Triangulate others: Narcissists use others to throw off their victims' balance.

If a victim is confused, outside persons may transmit the narcissist's message as an independent source. This triangulation doesn't exclude family professionals who are attempting to help; a narcissist will try to influence the mediator as they have their ex, if they can. Mediators should recognize where they fit in a narcissist's framework — are they trying to make you another of their victims, perpetrators, or rescuers?

Goalpost shifting:

Narcissists produce turmoil and postpone mediation by altering the goalposts, priorities, and complications. Narcissists don't want a reasonable, rational ending; they live on continuing confrontation. If the process ends, they must 'win'; if not, they will continue to torture their former partner afterward.

Rule-breaking:

Narcissists don't do homework or provide sufficient financial disclosure, which might prevent a mediator from conducting a session efficiently. Narcissists will also try to undermine your role, doubt your professionalism, and claim that you're not doing a good job. In these situations, mediators have clear boundaries.

Mediators commonly learn at professional conferences that former partners should not attend mediation if they are narcissists or have narcissistic tendencies. Mediators are aware of these qualities and how difficult it may be to deal with a narcissistic ex-partner. Part of a mediator's initial assessment meeting is determining if mediation is appropriate in your circumstances.

Find a mediator who is qualified and skilled in detecting these indications of narcissism and aiding families where narcissism is an issue. A mediator's function is to gently guide both parties towards a judge-approved outcome that provides the narcissist a sense of 'winning' and the victim freedom and control over their future.

Listen, Listen, Listen: Success in Divorce Mediation

Listen, Listen, Listen: Success in Divorce Mediation

The process of divorce mediation is successful for divorcing couples because it takes each party's point of view into account, is less expensive than going to court, and results in a settlement that is acceptable to all parties.

But other than that, what exactly is it that makes it so effective? What is one of the most important components that contributes to the efficacy of the mediation process in resolving conflicts?

…LISTENING!

When it comes to achieving an agreement during divorce mediation, speaking out and voicing concerns are both extremely important steps; nevertheless, attentive listening is the fundamental reason why this technique is successful. Genuine and engaged listening is a skill that requires a lot of practice to perfect, and it is more challenging to do so in high-pressure situations like a divorce. Being present without interrupting, asking questions that will help explain or expand understanding, and listening with an open mind and heart can all contribute to a smoother process throughout the divorce mediation.

Just because you're listening to someone doesn't necessarily mean you have to like or agree with what they're saying. Effective listening entails remembering the facts and being able to grasp another person's perspective. You are free to listen to the opposing side's position throughout the mediation process without being required to accept that viewpoint or conclusion. When you give careful consideration to what the other person is saying it will be much easier for you to comprehend the stance they are taking, which, in turn, will assist you in formulating a response that is rational and reasonable. Listening effectively is a key skill to make these things happen.

Excellent mediators in divorces are also skilled listeners

It is the responsibility of the mediator to enable and facilitate a fruitful dialogue with the end aim of reaching an agreement between the two disputing parties. This requires the mediator to listen carefully to all sides of the argument. When someone pays close attention to what they are saying and acknowledges what they have to say, people have a tendency to feel more self-assured and respected. It increases openness and trust. This enables them to better participate in meaningful dialogue. Do not interpret the divorce mediator's active listening, validating, and empathizing with your spouse as a sign that the mediator is taking a side in the dispute; rather, understand that the mediator is merely gathering the facts necessary to support a solution that is good to both parties. When you and your spouse both listen to and understand each other during mediation, rather than talking over or interrupting one other, the process moves along more easily, and better results are nearly always achieved.

During the divorce mediation process, expressing thoughts and expressing concerns is undoubtedly necessary; however, it is even more vital to be a good listener during this process. Don't be shy; just make sure you listen more than you talk! It will make a huge difference in the outcome.

Let’s Talk about Sex: Teen Issues During Divorce

Let’s Talk about Sex: Teen Issues During Divorce

Parental divorce is traumatic and formative in the lives of children and teenagers, despite the fact that it’s become so prevalent in modern society.

Parental divorce causes a number of changes that children must come to terms with because it dissolves the marriage and separates the original family into single-parent households. In addition, there are issues to be resolved in terms of interpersonal loss, societal disruption, lifestyle modification, and emotional upheaval. The dynamics of everyone's family life are upended and reset by a divorce including children.

Teenagers and Divorce

Divorce can exacerbate adolescent complaints because they are at a more disillusioned and rebellious stage with their parents. The teenager tends to draw away rather than cling. Because of the broken parental commitment to the family, adolescents frequently feel deceived and become angrier and less talkative.

Additionally, divorce often inspires adolescent girls to become more independent from their families because they care more about their peer group. Teenagers seem to be defending their more independent behavior in the wake of divorce. Therefore, some adolescents who experience parental divorce may decide to concentrate more on themselves.

While increased independence often means assuming more responsibility for the home, this self-serving behavior is an exception. During a divorce, the dominant single parent (who suddenly has a lot on her plate) enrolls the adolescent in additional caregiving and household duties. This single parent makes good use of the greater independence of the adolescent.

Greater Independence – Greater Insecurity

However, following a parental divorce, the three main forces that propel adolescent development toward more independence—difference, separation, and opposition—tend to become more powerfully manifested. More social dependency on one's circle of friends leads to greater separation from family. Therefore, when a teen expresses their uniqueness, they tend to diverge more from the child they once were. As a result, the more a young person is driven to get and go their own way, the more antagonism to parental authority grows.

Teenage Romantic Involvement

At the same time, teenagers are starting to become aware of romantic infatuations, in-love attachments, and even love partnerships in late adolescence. The significance of the broken parental pledge and the loss of parental love for one another can significantly impact this delicate moment.

What is the adolescent supposed to do when they start to significantly care for a social partner if parental commitment is not secure, love does not seem lasting, and losing love is so painful? It might be challenging to overcome the reluctance to trust committed love and to make a loving commitment.

Divorce and Teen Sexual Involvement

A recent study discovered that, depending on when in a teen girl's life the divorce had taken place, teen pregnancy rates among girls with missing fathers were three to eight times higher. According to the study, the impact of a father's absence on early sexual engagement and teen pregnancy has also been more pronounced than on other behavioral or mental health issues.

Older adolescents and adult children of divorce often experience commitment problems in romantic relationships. They can handle these in a variety of self-protective ways. In order to be "sure," they can be extremely cautious and put off making commitments for a long time. In addition, they might maintain casual and fleeting relationships to avoid the need for commitment. In loving relationships, however, they may feel quite conflicted, eager to commit one second and then be ready to end it the next.

Further, in order to ensure that the other person won't go, they may exert a lot of control or manipulation. Alternatively, they might join a committed relationship with the idea that they can always end it and "divorce" if it doesn't work out.

Spending Time

In order to spend more time with their sex role model, adolescents often want to move in with their sex parent as their primary caregiver. This typically indicates a need for gender identification at this crucial age rather than a preference for one parent over the other.

The ability of adults to forge a different form of commitment—to a working alliance in which ex-partners are committed to working together for the benefit of the teenagers—to each other is what ultimately restores adolescent confidence in divorced parents.

Adolescents learn from witnessing this alliance in action that while adult commitment to marriage has been dissolved, parental partnership commitment is still as strong as ever.

Let’s Talk about Sex: Adult Issues During Divorce

Let’s Talk about Sex: Adult Issues During Divorce

Are you recently divorced and making your dating debut after a lengthy marriage? If it has been a while since you last went out to dinner and drinks with a total stranger, you probably have many concerns about when, how, and whether you should start having sex again.

Here are a few things to think about:

1. Is dating in my future?

Being incredibly devoted to another person is our strongest drive. Sometimes, people who have just divorced are advised to wait a certain amount of time. However, that counsel is a bit unnatural. Before a marriage is formally over, many people have already processed the end of an empty union. Nevertheless, it's crucial to make sure you're emotionally sound enough to partner with someone fresh. This is especially true after going through the loss of divorce.

Although preparedness is a subjective concept, the following questions will help you ascertain whether your heart is ready to date:

• Is my self-esteem sufficiently restored that I now consider myself to be a deserving, desirable individual?

• Can I enjoy a great evening without venting about my ex-problems?

• If this turns out to be just a date and not the start of a relationship, am I prepared for a feeling of rejection?

2. What do I think about having sex with a new person?

Some individuals view dating after divorce as a chance to discover the variety of sexual partners they now have access to. The only requirement for sex in these scenarios might be that both couples find each other attractive (and possibly, convenient). However, there is no guarantee that the individual will want to meet you again, even if the sex is fantastic.

Therefore, give yourself some time to reflect on your own sex-related emotions. Do you want to have sex only for fun or does it represent something more to you? Wait until that connection is solidified if having sex means you start to care for the person. In addition, anticipate receiving that in return.

Also, remember that "sex" need not necessarily refer to actual sexual activity. The term "outercourse" can refer to touching and stroking while fully clothed, sexual massage, or even sexting and phone sex.

What would I require in order to feel secure during a sexual interaction?

While everyone will have a different response to this query, you should at the very least think about if you have enough information about your date to confirm that they are who they claim to be. Before you feel comfortable enough to engage in sexual activity, a few dates may be necessary. Furthermore, a thorough understanding of each partner's consent to have sex is also necessary.

Considerations for sexual health are as follows:

Have you mentioned your STD history to your date and addressed their health history? Will he or she wear a condom? Today, a condom is very necessary because, unfortunately, many people lie about their health and/or are unaware that they are STD carriers.

Would I think that sex during the first few dates was hot—or not?

Early in a relationship, sex may sometimes be extremely hot because we are less self-conscious and can let our guard down. This can lead to explosive moments, though not always. Many men have premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction as a result of the stress of meeting a new partner for the first time.

Additionally, first-time sex with a new and unfamiliar partner may result in a woman's excitement being lower and her orgasm being nonexistent, even if she typically orgasms readily. Therefore, she probably needs reinforcement that her boyfriend is interested in learning about her preferences, while her spouse might be too shy to inquire.

However, a person who doesn't care about your enjoyment should definitely be ruled out. Fortunately or sadly, early sex seems to have no influence on future sexual compatibility. It is definitely more indicative of whether sex will be positive in the long run if a person is aware of their attachment style and is prepared to work through issues.

Conclusion

Finally, remember that long-lasting amazing sex depends on being emotionally open and feeling secure enough to take sensuous risks. Additionally, being aware of both your partner's and your own body is vital. However, it’s good to remember that it takes time to develop these traits.

How to Agree in Divorce and NOT lose? Use MEDIATION!

How to Agree in Divorce and NOT lose? Use MEDIATION!

There are several reasons why divorce mediation is the best approach to divorce nowadays. Now that you and your partner have decided to go the divorce mediation path, it's critical that you don't lose sight of why you did so.

You hire a neutral specialist to help you through the divorce process and create a mutual agreement on all contested matters in a divorce mediation environment. Parties may reach a stalemate on some topics or grow vindictive throughout the process. Here are some useful hints for making the most of your divorce mediation so that you may reach a binding and unambiguous settlement.

Control Your Expectations

Our ideas about the future are expressed as expectations. Most individuals enter divorce mediation with preconceived notions about their rights, how the divorce process will likely unfold, and what will happen to their children.

There are two types of thinking, none of which is beneficial. First, there are some who have high hopes for the divorce and believe they will obtain all they desire. They believe they will receive the support, custody arrangement, and financial settlement that they desire. Second, there are those who believe that the divorce will be a tragedy and that they will receive the worst possible consequence.

Neither group is advantageous in divorce mediation since it impedes the bargaining process. Overly optimistic people, for example, tend to dig in their heels when they don't get what they feel they deserve. In contrast, the spouse with gloomy expectations will instinctively presume the other spouse's compromises are motivated by anything other than love.

It is vital to accurately measure your expectations. Isn't it true that it's easier said than done? Rely on the mediator to assist you in meeting those expectations and summarizing the material of each mediation session.

Be Prepared

Divorce is a document-driven procedure that requires both parties to share financial declarations, including supporting papers, outlining all assets and obligations. This may be a time-consuming procedure, which is one of the reasons why divorces might last 6 to 18 months!

In reality, the court will not process a dissolution ruling unless each party has exchanged their financial declaration of disclosures, known as the "Preliminary Declaration of Disclosures."

Describe Your Goals

You will never obtain what you want if you demand it. The most effective bargaining strategy is to describe what you want and why it is a legitimate request.

Explaining your goals to the mediator does two things: 1) it defines each party's priorities, and 2) it helps the mediator to provide acceptable settlement possibilities. It's crucial to recognize that the goal you're attempting to attain can often be done in a variety of methods.

Finally, as the drafter of your Marital Settlement Agreement, the mediator must comprehend your wishes in order to develop a legal document that is clear and accurate. In the event that either party goes to court to enforce an MSA, an unclear settlement agreement might cause problems for all parties.

Do Not Fight Over Principles

Don't battle over the concept if you don't want to spend your last dollar battling your ex. This isn't a class action lawsuit, and you won't gain anything for free by labeling a party wicked or evil. Divorce (and divorce mediation) affects your finances, your marriage, and your time. It's critical to not get bogged down in the details and lose sight of the broader picture.

How NOT to make lawyers richer? Choose MEDIATION!

How NOT to make lawyers richer? Choose MEDIATION!

The majority of folks who get involved in a dispute involving family law have two primary goals: the first is to safeguard their own best interests, and the second is to do it in the most economical manner feasible. Who, after all, wants to spend more money than is really necessary?

If this is one of your primary worries regarding your family law case, you should be considering how you might bring it to a successful conclusion through the use of mediation rather than going to court. Litigation, which refers to the process of putting your case before a family law judge to have a decision made, is almost always going to be more expensive than the alternative dispute resolution method of mediation. How is it that the cost of mediation is almost always going to be lower than the cost of litigation? The solution can be found in the process of mediation itself.

The following are some of the reasons why family law mediation is more cost-effective than litigation:

• A more expedient resolution: When there are only a few disagreements that need to be resolved between the two parties, mediation is often the most fruitful course of action. When there are fewer disagreements to resolve, there is less of a need for the time of a specialist who is working on the case, such as a family lawyer. It seems to reason that the overall cost of a case will decrease if fewer expensive professional services are required.

• Corrections that are simpler: You are able to incorporate a provision or other "legal mechanism" in the mediation process that advises all of the parties to meet again in the event of any future conflicts. Because this process is in place, you will be able to continue meeting with the same mediator, who is already familiar with the situation. This will, in turn, reduce the amount of time needed from that specialist, which will result in a reduction in the overall expenditures.

• Reduced number of professionals: When we talk about your family law issues requiring the assistance of specialists and professionals, we also need to mention that mediation involves some level of collaboration between you and the opposing party. By working together on issues, you will be able to find solutions to difficulties on your own, with the mediator providing objective advice. Because of this, you will need to recruit fewer subject matter experts, which will, once again, keep expenses down.

• Reduced levels of anger: Because the basis of mediation is collaboration, the sentiments of anger and betrayal that might arise frequently in the course of litigation are stifled throughout the mediation process. When a couple decides to divorce through mediation they often choose not to engage in any fighting throughout the process. This allows them to maintain a cordial relationship for the sake of their children once the divorce is finalized. When there are fewer arguments, mediation may take place without as many delays, which shortens the amount of time it takes to resolve a dispute. Once more, a shorter amount of time results in cheaper expenditures.

How Court Fails the Family…How About Using Mediation Instead?

How Court Fails the Family…How About Using Mediation Instead?

Today, legal disagreements may destroy a business, a family, or a person. They are expensive not just financially, but also from a personal and emotional standpoint. They are time-consuming and can be so distracting that they interfere with the capacity to perform other tasks. Mental health can take a real hit when dealing with sticky legal disputes, especially if it’s related to family law.

A good alternative to a lawsuit is mediation. It is a method in which an unbiased and skilled individual assists parties in voluntarily resolving a legal issue without incurring the ongoing costs of litigation. What advantages does mediation offer?

Below are five things you should consider if you are dealing with a situation of this nature…

A neutral third party, the mediator, will attentively listen to the concerns.

In litigation, the underlying concerns are sometimes obscured by legal technicalities, attorney disputes, and procedural maneuvers, etc. In mediation, a trained mediator will listen to the parties' descriptions of the issues at hand and guide them toward an amicable conclusion.

The cost of mediation, including attorney preparation time and mediator costs, is far less costly than what it will cost to prepare a case for trial.

Even if the mediation is not arranged until after the conclusion of discovery, when large expenditures have already been paid, preparing for and engaging in mediation is far less expensive than going to trial. Obviously, the sooner mediation occurs in the process, the better.

The flexibility of the parties is substantially expanded.

Unlike the judicial system, parties choose the mediator. Similarly, although the court system is highly organized and governed by several regulations, the parties can create the mediation process in mediation. In certain instances, it will be optimal to separate the parties for the majority or the entirety of the session. In other situations, the mediator will enable contact between the parties directly. In addition, mediators can employ a facilitative method, concentrating on the parties' needs rather than the legal aspects of the case in order to bring them to a resolution. Occasionally, they take an evaluative tone, assessing the probable result of the factual and legal problems in court. Different situations call for varied approaches. In mediation, the parties select the approach they believe will be most effective for their case.

The mediation process is optional. No one may compel parties to accept a contract.

The mediator does not render judgments or make decisions. The parties are free to construct the resolution that would work best for them, regardless of whether it would be accessible in court. Creativity in the settlement is highly desirable, and only if both parties agree that it will work is a resolution accomplished.

Mediation is significantly quicker than waiting for a trial and an appeal of a legal issue.

The parties will eliminate the worry, anxiety, and risk of going through the court system and will be able to immediately put the matter behind them with a mutually agreeable resolution.

What are your thoughts on mediation? Are you considering it? Talk to us…

Current Financial Conundrums: Rising Property Values for Buyers and Sellers During Divorce

Current Financial Conundrums: Rising Property Values for Buyers and Sellers During Divorce

The marital home is typically the couple's most significant asset during a divorce. If the home was bought during the marriage, it is a marital asset and will be divided if the couple gets divorced. The home will be regarded as marital property even if it was bought before marriage, transferred into both couples' names, or the mortgage was in both parties names. Before splitting up all of the marital assets between the two parties, a house must first be valued if it is considered marital property.

Nevertheless, a property is not a liquid asset. Simply saying "cash out my house and give me half" is not sufficient. Furthermore, people frequently have strong emotional attachments to their homes, and one divorcing partner frequently wants to preserve the home—especially if the children will continue to reside there.

How then do you value the home to share the equity in the home when a house needs to be divided as marital property in a divorce?

If You Sell Your Home

Selling the house directly is the only surefire way to know how much it is worth. The judge will simply order the sale of the home if the party keeping the house is unable to pay the other party back for half of its value. The parties frequently decide against selling the residence in these circumstances.

The house may still be sold by arrangement, but not immediately. In this case, the mortgage will be the responsibility of the person who maintains the home. However, at the time of the sale, the home-keeper will be compensated for any remaining mortgage that was settled prior to the distribution of proceeds.

Market Comparative Analysis

A comparative market analysis of the house is something a real estate agent will advise if you ask them. Real estate agents use this method to calculate the value of a home. It entails contrasting the home with three other comparable homes that are either still up for sale or have already been purchased.

A comparative market analysis is intended to establish a home's asking price before it is sold.

However, since you aren't selling the house, this valuation is typically off if you are assessing the house's worth. Because practically every home seller anticipates some kind of good faith haggling between themselves and the home buyer, a home's stated price is typically inflated.

Conflicting Assessments of the House's Value

The two parties must each have a different assessment if they disagree on the house's value. For the reasons outlined above, the court will never favor a CMA over an assessment. However, if the two parties hire their own appraisers, the judge would need to hear testimony from each appraiser as an expert to decide who was more trustworthy.

Therefore, take great care when hiring an appraiser because they frequently specialize in the sorts of structures they appraise and the regions they serve. Because a court won't (or at least shouldn't) divide the difference between the two appraisals, it's important to exercise extra caution when choosing an appraiser.

Rising Property Values

The less stable real estate market in recent years served as sufficient justification for some couples to postpone their divorces until they were able to sell their homes for a profit. However, couples could once count on using the proceeds from the sale of their property to buy and furnish their own home. Now, instead of divorcing while the family house is underwater, these couples waited until they could sell the home and begin their new lives with some cash.

While many homeowners desire a sizable "cash-out" when they sell their homes, many are beginning to understand that their rising home values and home equity afford them some financial possibilities they may explore right now.

There are many choices to consider, including cash-out refinancing, obtaining a revolving line of credit (like a credit card), tapping into home equity to receive a lump sum payment, and more.

Although each option has advantages and disadvantages, they all have one thing in common: they provide cash to homeowners who have amassed money through their home equity but are not quite ready to sell their property.

Controlling your own Fate: Mediation Allows CHOICES!

Controlling your own Fate: Mediation Allows CHOICES!

Mediation provides a mechanism for those with disagreements or conflicts to exercise their own choices and discretion and to restore a sense of control over their lives in settling issues. It lets you actively participate in decision-making and choose your own fate. In mediation, parties can vent their feelings and find their actual interests to reduce emotional distress. Mediation allows parties to make their own decisions instead of being pushed to do so. Once a mutually agreeable agreement is achieved, the parties can halt the emotional agony that would haunt them while awaiting lawsuit resolution.

Mediation is distinct from litigation since it is voluntary and the parties are involved at every phase. Mediation facilitates free conversation between the parties, unlike litigation. Mediation allows innovative problem-solving that fits the parties' requirements, unlike litigation. Mediation tailors agreements to the parties' circumstances and is always confidential, enabling the restoration of healthy relationships.

THE RUSH TO COURT

In the recent past we’ve seen mindsets develop that send individuals to court for every actual or imagined injustice. Individual patience has decreased as litigation has increased. Instead of discussing each other's feelings and determining the cause of the argument, they run to a lawyer and sometimes the client insists that the lawyer be his/her "mouthpiece," even simulating emotions. The lawsuit process becomes self-sustaining, leaving little possibility for early peaceful resolution.

WHAT IS YOUR RISK IN THIS GAMBLE?

Like gamblers, most litigants think they'll win in court. After hearing the parties' predictions of the conclusion they feel they are entitled to, the mediator may inquire if their attorneys will guarantee those results. In a similar vein, the parties must inquire if there are any guarantees the result won't be half, double, or quadruple the expectations.

WHAT IS THE RISK?

The disputants must consider how much it will cost to determine who is correct and if the expenditures won't double or more. In mediation, parties manage expenses because they're participating in all processes. They don't have to file lengthy legal documentation as ordered by a court.

Time is needed to see the outcome

The parties need to know how long it will take to see if their guess was right. Litigation typically takes years. Most mediations take weeks or months.

DO YOU WANT TO RELAX?

If the litigation process proceeds, the parties have abdicated power to a judge over whom they have no influence. A negotiated solution is preferable.

Peace and harmony are attainable.

Given the foregoing, would it not make sense to recover control of your life through voluntary mediation, an established form of ADR? Mediation is a voluntary procedure in which a neutral, impartial individual helps disputing parties achieve an agreement. That implies the parties voluntarily participate and settle their conflict. Mediation is part of the negotiating process, not a third-person making choices for the parties. The mediator's purpose is to help the parties resolve their current controversies by defining their interests, looking to the future, and exchanging mutually accepted commitments that fit their personal standards of fairness. Mediation gives all parties a better chance of winning than litigation.

Through a confidential, voluntary procedure, you'll control and resolve your difficulties. An agreement allows all parties to go away as victors, not only in resolving their difficulties, but in life. Peace is possible at a lower financial and emotional cost than lengthy litigation.

Blended Families: The Latest Challenge in Crafting Workable Agreements for Custody

Blended Families: The Latest Challenge in Crafting Workable Agreements for Custody

Blended households can be wonderful for parents and kids alike. Knowing that everyone has the potential to fall in love once more, even after a difficult and traumatic divorce, is encouraging.

Healthy connections with stepparents can also immensely benefit children. Unfortunately, mixed families could experience more difficulties both before and after divorce. The most common issues involve the kids, and the parents' hurt feelings from the divorce frequently factor in.

How to Handle Shared Custody

Before their divorce is even finalized, it's not uncommon for one parent to have started dating again. However, this may have an impact on the custody arrangement a mother desires. This is particularly true if the new partner speaks to her about how the child's biological father is unworthy of joint custody. Your high-conflict divorce lawyer is the first person to advise you that child custody frequently becomes more about punishing an ex than looking out for the child's best interests.

In blended families where the parents are divorcing, custody can sometimes be difficult. Stepdads frequently form close relationships with their stepchildren. For instance, they may share a home and like-minded interests. In addition, they may act as a father figure.

Unfortunately, after the divorce, many stepfathers are unable to see their stepchildren. With very few exceptions, it's likely that you won't be given legal visitation rights with the child. However, if you and your ex sincerely care about the child's best interests, you might be able to come to an informal visitation agreement.

You might be able to ask for a stepparent adoption if you are a married stepparent who wants more protection in case of a future divorce. This option is available only when the child's biological father is not present or is prepared to relinquish his parental rights.

Concerns About Child Support

Many men going through divorce are concerned about whether child support obligations end if their ex-wife cohabitates or remarries another person. This is feasible in the event of spousal maintenance. However, child support is exempt from this regulation.

Your child's basic needs are supposed to be covered by your monthly payment. The court may not hold your co-parent financially liable for your child just because they start a blended family with someone else.

Another question fathers often have is if their child support obligations will decrease when they remarry and have a blended family. Having more children to support, whether they are stepchildren or biological children from your second marriage, will not result in the court reducing your commitment. However, it is possible to ask that your support obligation be reduced if paying child support has become burdensome as a result of a job loss or if your ex's income has grown.

Giving Up Parental Rights

There are many instances of women getting married to new partners after having kids with their original partners. Unmarried fathers who had an unborn child are frequently, and correctly, anxious that the mother may try to limit their ability to be active in the kid's life. Therefore, when a new man enters the mother's life and expresses an interest in helping her raise her child, this raises even more questions.

The mother of your child shouldn't be entitled to revoke your parental rights, even if she has sole custody and has made an effort to keep your child away from you. The truth is, that judges believe that every kid should benefit from having a legal father. Therefore, the court normally strives to prevent terminating rights as much as possible.

As a result of these and other issues, you must be ready to go in court and defend your fatherly rights. You will have to do this despite the threats made by your co-parent and her new husband. Nevertheless, at the first sign of trouble, see a male family lawyer so you can start getting ready for the court appearance.

Domestic Violence Restraining Orders: LADIES, WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Domestic Violence Restraining Order Statutes for Women

When it comes to domestic violence restraining order statutes for women, who may petition for an order; what protection or relief an order can provide; and how the order will be enforced are all important factors.

While state laws vary, every protective order legislated enables the court to require one or more of the following provisions:

• Demand that the abuser stop harming or threatening you.

• Remain away- Most states' orders may direct the abuser to stay away from you, your home, business, or school.

• No contact- to forbid any communication, whether by phone, text message, note, mail, fax, email, via a third party, or delivery of flowers or presents.

• Order the abuser to pay you interim child support or to continue making mortgage payments on a property you both own.

• Exclusive usage- to provide you exclusive use of a property or automobile that both of you own.

• Restitution entails paying you for medical expenses or property damage caused by the offender.

• Relinquish firearms- Some courts may be able to compel the abuser to relinquish any weapons, rifles, or ammunition he or she has.

• Treatment includes enrolling in a batterers' treatment program, submitting to frequent drug testing, and beginning alcohol or drug misuse therapy.

• Custody, visitation, and child support- as part of your restraining order, many jurisdictions enable the court to make judgments concerning your children's care and safety.

Courts have the authority to order the abuser to remain away from and have no contact with your children's physicians, daycare, school, or after-school work, and many courts have the authority to make interim custody/visitation judgments.

Some restraining orders might even include child support requirements.

You may also request that the court order supervised visitation or designate a secure plan for moving the children between you and the abuser.

In most jurisdictions, the victim may request that the order be enforced by the police, the court, or both, depending on the nature of the breach.

When a victim calls the police to report a restraining order violation, the officers normally listen to the victim and examine whatever evidence he or she has. If the police believe the order has been breached, they may arrest the abuser or take further measures.

Stay away, no contact, halt abuse, exclusive usage, and perhaps custody requirements may all be enforced by the police in most cases if they need an urgent reaction.

If you are unable to contact them at the time of the violation, they should accept a report if you contact them shortly after. It may result in a misdemeanor or felony criminal conviction and penalty in certain situations.

These sorts of infractions may subsequently be handled by civil court in places that allow it, and it is typically a good idea to bring them to the court's notice.

Need legal representation? Contact our team today.

Domestic Violence Restraining Orders: GUYS, WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Men & Restraining Orders; Here is the Skinny…

A restraining order or order of protection against a male may be the last resort for someone who is being intimidated or harassed as a result of the acts of another. In other words, domestic violence. A restraining order is often the only recourse for a woman to put a stop to domestic abuse or violence. Restraining orders have the ability to save lives in certain situations.

In other cases, they have the potential to damage lives or to be used as a form of harassment. Every restraining order has two sides, and police enforcement and the justice system are often caught in the between. When properly carried out, one of the most important responsibilities that restraining orders may play is protecting persons from danger.

Here is a summary of everything you need to know about restraining orders:

1. What does it mean to be served with a temporary restraining order (TRO)?

To begin, a restraining order, also known as a protective order, is a court order that is implemented by the police and bans contact between two people. In many cases, it forbids one person from approaching another person within a specified distance, and in certain cases, it may include additional restrictions including the ownership of firearms.

2. Obtaining a Warrant of Arrest or Restraining Order

Several courts detail the processes for obtaining protection orders on their own websites. Find a restraining order petition, fill it out, then file it with the court, either there or at the courthouse. The court will determine whether to issue the order or not. In most circumstances, the court will issue a temporary restraining order and set a future hearing to resolve the problem.

3. How men should react to a temporary restraining order correctly (legal how-to)

A restraining order must be served on someone in order for them to be aware of the order, its provisions, and any future hearings on the matter. In most situations, this entails submitting a written response as well as attending the court hearing, which may involve the presentation of evidence and witnesses.

4. How to Follow the Terms of Your Protection Order in a New State

Nobody seems to settle down in one place these days. So, if you move to another state, does your restraining order follow you there?

Under federal law, all states are required to recognize and implement lawful protection orders issued by other jurisdictions. Is there anything more that needs to be done on your end?

5. Legal Guidelines for Contesting a Restraining Order

Even if a court issues a restraining order, it may be challenged, altered, modified, or even reversed. A restraining order may be challenged in writing or, more often, in court. Depending on the circumstances, there are both successful and inefficient ways to challenge a restraining order.

If you have questions concerning restraining orders, you should contact our experienced legal team as soon as possible. This is true whether you are contemplating seeking a restraining order or trying to contest the legality of an existing one.

Your Stuff: What NOT to Fight Over in Divorce When it Comes to Personal Property

The Partitioning of Personal Property is Difficult During a Divorce. Here is what you need to know..

Fact: Each individual feels attached to what is theirs and reasonably wants access to their own belongings throughout a divorce. When two individuals just cannot get along, it might be difficult to recover personal property, particularly if one spouse moved out of the marital house quickly.

Learn more about your alternatives if you need to reclaim your personal property.

What exactly is personal property? The overwhelming bulk of an individual's possessions are classified as personal property. These items may be valuable or have no monetary worth. Clothing, cosmetics, or personal hygiene products, for example, may be worthless, but they might be quite valuable to the individual who is missing them.

Personal property, on the other hand, may be very valuable. For example, if one spouse moves out and takes all of the furnishings in the home, it may cost the other spouse several thousand dollars to replace these goods. When property is not split properly in the early phases of a divorce, it may make it harder to share assets later on.

It is critical to keep in mind that Washington is a community property state. According to Washington law, everything acquired during the marriage is held by both parties and is susceptible to partition upon a divorce. Even if only one spouse purchases or utilizes an item, the property is nevertheless held jointly as part of the marital estate.

Before involving the court, try to work it out

If at all feasible, both spouses should strive to reach an agreement on low-value personal property (less than $500). Most of the time, one spouse will not need the other's clothes or toiletries, and there is no reason why the spouse cannot walk inside the home and acquire these goods. Attorneys for each spouse may usually figure out an agreement in which one individual enters the former marital residence and retrieves his or her belongings.

It is critical to avoid taking significant objects that may create controversy later on throughout this procedure. If an object is valuable, it is typically best to split it during the divorce settlement negotiations.

Contact a Third-Party Neutral

If the former couple is unable to reach an agreement on their own, it may be beneficial to solicit the assistance of a neutral third party. For example, if one partner does not trust the other to remove solely personal belongings from the house, it may be preferable to engage a friend or family member who is trusted by both spouses.This individual might be permitted to enter the house to remove things from a list that both spouses agree can be removed.

Property Division Ordered by a Court

This is when to indicate specific personal objects that are not obviously yours or your spouses. Things like lawnmowers, beds, and towels. Things become much more complicated when there is a second property involved, such as a beach house or cabin on a lake. If this is the case, you need to call in a specialist – a real estate attorney – to untangle ownership issues before it goes to court. Otherwise your divorce could drag on for months longer than necessary.

Divorcing? So Who Gets the Pooch?

A New Pet Property Division Trend…

 Over the last several years, a few states have relaxed their stance on pets as property or alimony, resulting in new rules that alter how the court treats a family pet in a divorce. Pets are still classified as "common property" in California, but at the request of either partner, courts may additionally decide who will care for the pet (veterinary bills, food, and toys) before determining who owns the creature.

The court may also grant the animal exclusive or joint (shared) custody. In other words, even if the judge grants the pet to your husband, the court may order you to pay for its upkeep. (Assembly Bill No. 2274 in California.)

Recent law in Alaska and Illinois also permits these courts to assign single or joint ownership of a community property pet and decide who should care for it.

Although the present tendency of treating dogs less like property is not yet universally recognized, it is likely just a matter of time until most states follow suit.

Without the Need for Court Intervention

If you poll 100 pet owners, at least 90% will tell you that their pet is a member of the family. Although divorce is difficult and unpleasant, if the idea of the court determining who gets to keep your pet(s) bothers you, you do have choices.

Many divorcing spouses find that utilizing the court's mediation procedure helps them resolve important divorce-related concerns including property distribution. In mediation, a neutral third person, generally an attorney, meets with both spouses to discuss any unsolved concerns about the divorce. During your discussions, the mediator will enable both couples to discuss the issues at hand while ensuring that the dialogue stays fruitful.

Because mediation is optional, if either spouse does not want to continue or agree with the suggested settlement, that spouse may withdraw and seek assistance from the court. In many circumstances, couples may reach an agreement on a final divorce settlement, and the mediator will assist in putting the terms in writing for the court to sign.

Couples who disagree over who will retain the family pet might utilize mediation to determine who will keep the pet, if sharing "custody" is viable, and if so, what sort of food to feed the animal at each residence and how expenditures will be handled. The court likes couples who can reach an agreement, and the court will sanction the arrangement as long as both spouses accept it.

Although the law does not consider dogs in the same way that it does children, more and more family law courts are acknowledging their value in the lives of families. If you have more specific issues concerning who gets the pets after a divorce, get guidance from a local family law professional.

In most states the loss of a lizard, bird, turtle, or fish, is not considered as emotionally damaging as the loss of a cat or dog. Cats and Dogs are considered ‘companion’ pets, ones that have a personality that responds to their master.

The Process of Selling Your Home After a Divorce

The process of selling your home after a divorce is quite similar to any other time, except that you will have to split things differently. However, here are some key things to consider…

Preparing the House

You may need to undertake certain house upgrades. You may also elect to sell your home as-is. In certain cases, if the house is in bad condition, it might take a long time to prepare it for sale. Getting the house ready may also entail taking images and creating property listings, although you may want to wait until after you engage an agent to do so.

Getting an Agent

You should work with a reputable real estate agent. There are agents who specialize in pending divorce sales. They can be of great assistance to you in the thorny issues that are bound to come up as you auction off what may be the biggest investment of time, money, and affection you’ll ever have made. They may assist you with creating a listing to sell your house, putting it on local real estate sale sites and newspapers, and providing you with a value. You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse must agree on a reasonable price for the house.

Think About an Investor Sale

Are you in a rush to sell the house? Some real estate investors will take it off your hands, and although you may not get the same amount of money, you will be able to sell the home quickly.

Handle an Offer

An offer will be made. Don’t take the first offer that comes by. Be patient and willing to listen to the advice of your realtor. Make sure you know just how volatile the housing market is in your area. If it’s very volatile you should instruct your sales agent to jump at the first offer of the price you want, and not wait.

But if your area has stable real estate prices, then you can afford to sit back and let the better offers come to you before committing. It might take a long time or come in immediately once you advertise the property. You can take or leave any offer on the table. Counteroffers are typical, and there is normally some back and forth until the sale is agreed upon.

When you have an acceptable offer, it is time to accept and close the deal. Don't hurry this because you're going through a divorce; it's still a good idea to take your time and earn what you're worth.

Deal with the Money

It would be wise to use the same bank for both payments, if possible. A bank that already knows you and your partner will keep down the red tape and paperwork.

The revenues are not immediately divided among you.

The costs of selling a home are varied. Make them a priority. For example, all of your agency costs, the current mortgage, and part of the home-related lines of credit. A significant portion of the revenues will have to be used to cover all of these unexpected costs.

If you sell while legally still married, you may be eligible to take advantage of capital gains exemptions on homes worth less than $500,000.

At this point your lawyers can work out the exact division of the sale. Depending on local state laws, you may be required to follow a certain rule regulating who receives what after a divorce.

Of course, any prenuptial agreements must be fulfilled, so it's possible that the property is still held by one party in the divorce while the other receives no financial advantage from the sale.

Questions? Let us know.

Lawyer Loyalty is NOT the same as Friendship, and for GOOD reasons!

When a lawyer is emotionally invested in a matter, their capacity to deliver objective advice may be in danger.

Can the Right Lawyer for Your Needs be Your Friend?

This question perplexes both lawyers and law students. They are worried by the conflicting expectations of client loyalty, law, and friendship. Furthermore, they wonder how such allegiance can be in line with the devotion to the common good that is a hallmark of lofty moral beliefs.

Client loyalty – Not the Same as Friendship

In a lawyer's connection with a client, loyalty and independent judgment are critical. Therefore, before representation, if an unacceptable conflict of interest arises, representation should probably be denied.  

As a result, in both litigation and non-litigation matters, the lawyer must implement reasonable methods. They must be appropriate for the size and type of firm and practice, to determine the parties and issues involved. In addition, they must consider whether there are actual or prospective conflicts of interest.

If a conflict emerges after the lawyer has begun representing the client, the practitioner should withdraw from the case even if that person is a friend. A lawyer may not allow his or her personal or professional interests to influence a client's representation. A friend, however, might be tempted to stay with the client, in spite of the conflict of interest.

A lawyer's friendship or need for revenue, for example, should not cause him or her to take on problems that cannot be handled properly and at a reasonable cost. A lawyer cannot, for example, direct clients to a company in which the lawyer has a hidden interest.

Objections to a Lawyer as a Friend

Lawyers are taught that logic and the law are supreme. Some say that if we are swayed by friendship's emotion and pull, they may lose their better judgment and give bad advice. In addition, lawyers understand that the necessities of friendship may justify deviating from the law or morality. Therefore, they may be tempted to prioritize the interests of a friend over the law or the greater good. As a result, they must maintain a professional distance in order to avoid being blinded to the truth or the greater good.

Lawyers, Friendship, and Small Business

Finally, small business owners should evaluate the danger of substantially straining intimate relationships before hiring a friend or family member for legal responsibilities. It's all too easy for friends to skim over their expectations of one another, presuming that they both know what the other is getting at.

This can lead to miscommunications regarding everything from the extent of work to the price you'll pay for it. Such misunderstandings can strain friendships and cause family strife. In addition, it can be damaging to your case and may lead to even more challenges.

Conclusions

Keep in mind that working with someone in your personal network can be a lucrative arrangement for both parties. However, if you do go that route, make sure that person is working within their usual practice area and that you are clear about financial and other expectations.

FOR LADIES ONLY: Building and Using Credit and Why it Matters to You!

To create a credit score to use as a financial safety net, you'll need credit in your own name. 

Most young women today can't conceive of getting turned down for a credit card or a loan because of their gender. Women's access to capital, on the other hand, is a comparatively new concept.

It's Critical to Have Access to Credit

Credit is a fundamental tool for achieving financial independence. Women, regardless of marital status, require credit in their own names in order to establish credit. Women can feel more comfortable taking risks or planning for the future if they have access to credit. It makes them more able to make decisions like establishing a business when they have financial security.

Furthermore, a solid credit score can act as a safety net. It can allow you to borrow money at reasonable interest rates in case of an emergency. Divorce, disease, death, and job loss are all possibilities in life. Without credit, making ends meet in difficult times can lead to financial catastrophe.

Unfortunately, in instances where they need to rebuild or develop financial stability, women who lack greater financial stability have fewer opportunities than men. This can create dependency and lead to a sense of insecurity.

Own and Expand Your Credit Score

According to a recent report, women and men have nearly identical average FICO scores of 704 and 705, respectively. In addition, with the exception of student loans, women carry less debt in all categories.

Taking the following steps, in addition to monitoring your credit, will help you gain financial confidence:

Take out a loan in your own name.

Don't be afraid to acquire credit cards or loans in your own name if you want to improve or keep your credit score. Additionally, take advantage of the ability to get your own card if you're an authorized user with a good credit score.

The truth is, women who are divorced or widowed and have no independent credit previous to or throughout their marriage may have difficulty obtaining loans or credit cards. This is one big reason to begin now to establish your own credit.

Consider enlisting the help of a co-signer.

If you don't qualify for a loan on your own, acquire a co-signer to back you up until your credit history improves enough to qualify on your own.

Make an application for a secured credit card.

These cards typically levy annual or monthly fees, as well as a security deposit equal to your credit limit. If you can't normally qualify for a credit card, you'll have a chance to establish a good credit history.

The beauty of a secured credit card is that after a period of making on-time payments and demonstrating appropriate usage, you can get an upgrade to a standard unsecured card.

Pay all of your bills on time.

Although this appears to be a simple task, it might be difficult for some people. The most essential component in your credit history is whether or not you pay on time. Lenders use this track record when deciding whether or not to extend credit. A single missing or late payment will have an impact on your credit score.

Limit the amount of credit you use.

Your usage rate is 30% if you have $10,000 in approved credit and $3,000 in outstanding charges. If you maintain it under 30%, your credit score will improve, and you'll be able to receive greater credit limits.