Listen, Listen, Listen: Success in Divorce Mediation
The process of divorce mediation is successful for divorcing couples because it takes each party's point of view into account, is less expensive than going to court, and results in a settlement that is acceptable to all parties.
But other than that, what exactly is it that makes it so effective? What is one of the most important components that contributes to the efficacy of the mediation process in resolving conflicts?
…LISTENING!
When it comes to achieving an agreement during divorce mediation, speaking out and voicing concerns are both extremely important steps; nevertheless, attentive listening is the fundamental reason why this technique is successful. Genuine and engaged listening is a skill that requires a lot of practice to perfect, and it is more challenging to do so in high-pressure situations like a divorce. Being present without interrupting, asking questions that will help explain or expand understanding, and listening with an open mind and heart can all contribute to a smoother process throughout the divorce mediation.
Just because you're listening to someone doesn't necessarily mean you have to like or agree with what they're saying. Effective listening entails remembering the facts and being able to grasp another person's perspective. You are free to listen to the opposing side's position throughout the mediation process without being required to accept that viewpoint or conclusion. When you give careful consideration to what the other person is saying it will be much easier for you to comprehend the stance they are taking, which, in turn, will assist you in formulating a response that is rational and reasonable. Listening effectively is a key skill to make these things happen.
Excellent mediators in divorces are also skilled listeners
It is the responsibility of the mediator to enable and facilitate a fruitful dialogue with the end aim of reaching an agreement between the two disputing parties. This requires the mediator to listen carefully to all sides of the argument. When someone pays close attention to what they are saying and acknowledges what they have to say, people have a tendency to feel more self-assured and respected. It increases openness and trust. This enables them to better participate in meaningful dialogue. Do not interpret the divorce mediator's active listening, validating, and empathizing with your spouse as a sign that the mediator is taking a side in the dispute; rather, understand that the mediator is merely gathering the facts necessary to support a solution that is good to both parties. When you and your spouse both listen to and understand each other during mediation, rather than talking over or interrupting one other, the process moves along more easily, and better results are nearly always achieved.
During the divorce mediation process, expressing thoughts and expressing concerns is undoubtedly necessary; however, it is even more vital to be a good listener during this process. Don't be shy; just make sure you listen more than you talk! It will make a huge difference in the outcome.