Avoiding the Technology Trap in Divorce

It’s important to effectively deal with competing views of parents and children about smartphone usage during and after divorce.

According to recent research, multiple text messages, movies, audio recordings, and testimony about cell phones are becoming commonplace in child custody and divorce hearings and trials.

Here are some helpful rules to ensure that your cellphone does not become your enemy…

1. Don't instantly send that angry text to your estranged spouse or ex.

Allow it to simmer while you consider how it would sound if read aloud in a silent courtroom on a Monday morning. Therefore, before you send a text, think about what you're saying. Is it really necessary for you to reiterate how ignorant or foolish you believe people are?

2. Don't give your child a smartphone until…

Wait to give a full-fledged smartphone until he or she is able to deal with it responsibly. Furthermore, you may want to wait until you've worked out a deal with your ex or estranged spouse about how the phone usage. Courts are ill-equipped to deal with the usage of cell phones. They have a difficult time enforcing Orders between divorcing parents.

Therefore, if you and the other parent can't agree on guidelines for communication across households, let the child use your phone or landline to contact their father or mother. It is significantly less expensive than having a Court or Judge arbitrate the disagreement. This is something that courts dislike doing.

3. Don't capture pictures of every bruise or scrape your child gets.

After your child has been staying with their other parent, you may be tempted to take pictures of them on your phone in order to show that they have been hurt. However, a better way is that If there is a major injury, go to the emergency room and get it documented there.

4. Don't use your cell phone to talk to your "new” partner.

Every call or text is recorded. This includes the caller's phone number and the time it was made. It is fairly easy to collect cell phone records. Twenty-five calls to a "co-worker" between 9 p.m. and 2 a.m. suggest anything but finishing up a project report.

5. Don't delete texts or photos and expect them to be gone. 

Do you believe that deleting a text or photograph will delete it from your phone? That's not the case! The look of terror on a litigant's face when they have to hand over their phone to an expert for inspection can be hilarious or heartbreaking. If you don’t want them to show up in court, don’t make them or take them.

6. Don't cause damage or loss to your child's cell phone

When your child’s phone arrives at your house unexpectedly after being dropped off by the other parent you may be tempted to do something with the phone. Letting it fall into the bath, removing the battery, or taking it away for disciplinary reasons will only result in a costly court inquiry. This is something you should leave to your lawyer to handle.

7. Avoid putting children in the center of a cell phone debate.

Always make direct parent-to-parent contact with your estranged spouse or ex about cell phone usage. Or you can do it through your lawyer.

8. Don't make your child use their cell phone in front of you to talk to the other parent.

Also, never make them use the speakerphone when talking to their other parent. Your children are entitled to privacy if you have permitted the cellphone into your home.

MEDIATION: What it Is and Why YOU Should Care

 What exactly is mediation, and why does it matter to you?

It’s neutral.

The mediator is an impartial third party not involved in the dispute. Because all parties in a mediation must trust that the mediator is committed to the process of reaching a mutually agreeable settlement, neutrality is critical.

It's a choice.

Even when forced into discussions with a neutral third party, people retain power over the outcome. Mediation differs from arbitration because it gives you more control over the outcome. The arbitrator, not the parties, makes the decision in arbitration once the parties have sent their dispute to a neutral arbiter.

It's personal.

It provides a safe environment for all parties to address their respective interests. In addition it helps them see how they are compatible with those of the other mediation participants. Confidentiality is usually handled explicitly in the mediation agreement that the mediator asks the parties to sign.

Consider asking your mediator to incorporate an express confidentiality agreement if your mediator does not have one. This clause usually applies to any materials prepared or discussions held throughout the mediation process.

It's a Method.

Mediation is a method for assisting parties in reaching an agreement that always entails determining what the parties actually value. Additionally, it is a method of finding ways to respect those values. The parties to a conflict are guided through a process that investigates viewpoints, solutions, and interests. Furthermore, in some instances, it formulates ways to continue growing the connection between the parties with the support of a third-party neutral.

What is the purpose of mediation?

It adds value.

Working through the process, the parties and the mediator frequently discover value that puts all parties in a better position than they would have been otherwise

It's a Low-Risk Situation

Everyone who attends mediation (even if they are forced to) has the option of agreeing or disagreeing with any settlement, and everything is kept totally confidential. That means there are few hazards associated with mediation outside of the time spent on it.

Because the persons involved have a say in the parameters agreed upon, a mediated agreement is preferable to a judge-directed resolution. People involved in domestic cases are frequently required by the courts to attend mediation and make a good faith effort to achieve an agreement.

Judges are well aware that they only see a sliver of the issues in a dispute inside the courtroom and that the parties themselves are well-versed in the details and context required to make informed decisions on the problems.

In family law proceedings, the issues discussed might be exceedingly personal. Most people find it easier to follow through on a deal established with the opposing side rather than one made unilaterally by the court. In some circumstances, multiple rounds of mediation may be required before an agreement on all concerns is reached.

It is unquestionably worthwhile.

A mutually agreed-upon settlement is an excellent method to end a family court lawsuit and open the path for a positive future relationship.

Litigation: The Ugly Truths and How WE can Help

Anyone who provides legal advice or is knowledgeable in one or more areas of law is commonly referred to as a lawyer. The term lawyer is then used to designate barristers, solicitors, and legal executives, as well as the legal profession as a whole. That sounds fairly simple, but some of the things people face in litigation are anything but simple.

Some of the ugly truths:

Have you been hurt at work or in a car accident where you were not at fault? If this is the case, a litigation attorney can assist you. The last thing you want to do is go to court and be interrogated by lawyers who will do everything they can to make you look terrible or as if your injury isn't as serious as you claim.

That would be bad enough if you were well, but recovering after a severe injury can take months, leaving you unable to deal with emotional difficulties. The problem is that you only have a few months to file such a lawsuit before you lose your right to compensation. However, if you hire a lawsuit lawyer, you can collect compensation without ever having to go to court.

What can a lawyer do for you?

They take care of everything. They can direct you to the appropriate doctors for examination and assessment. Furthermore, they will represent you in court. Additionally, they are able to bargain with the insurance company for the amount they believe is fair compensation.

If someone bothers you about the lawsuit, your injuries, or what happened, you can refer them to a lawyer rather than dealing with them directly. This will save you a lot of heartache. This is especially true if you're still healing and finding it tough to move around or to think clearly.

Litigation lawyers work on both sides of a lawsuit.

If you are being sued for an accident or loss of any type, you will almost surely need the help of a litigation lawyer, especially if you are at fault. They'll bargain for you to get the most excellent deal possible, and they'll take care of the nuances that you might overlook when your mind is racing.

Many lawsuits can be resolved without ever going to court. Even when you hire a lawyer, this can happen. A litigation lawyer can handle a variety of disputes, including:

• Consumer law

• Contractual

• Property

• Injury

• Loss

• Inheritance

• Bankruptcy and other things

The law exists to assist and protect individuals. However, it is a specialized field that requires years of study and training to comprehend fully. When it comes to litigation or any other type of law, most individuals become highly confused very fast. In addition, it's usually a traumatic period for them. Therefore their mind isn't functioning as well as it should be.

Nevertheless, if you have a litigation lawyer on your side to advise and guide you, you have a much better chance of resolving your problems and getting justice.

Self-Care During Divorce: It’s for EVERYBODY

Divorce is one of the most difficult situations a person can go through in their lifetime. Allowing the mental burden of divorce procedures to drag you down may prevent you from making the best decisions for yourself and your family.

Here are 8 important self-care practices to help you get through it gracefully…

1. Let yourself cry.

You may feel compelled to remain strong and composed as you face this challenging time. However, expressing your emotions is essential to the healing process. Therefore, allow yourself the space and time to experience your grief. Let yourself weep all the tears you want. This allows you to stay in control of your emotions during regular times. In addition, it prevents you from crying at inconvenient times.

2. Get plenty of sleep.

Major life transitions, such as separation or divorce, can have a negative impact on your emotional and physical health. Maintaining a regular sleep schedule throughout the process is one of the best strategies to promote your overall health. If you get enough sleep, you will be better equipped to advocate for yourself and your family during spousal support or child custody talks.

3. Talk about it.

It's awful for you and everyone around you to keep your negative thoughts and feelings about the breakdown of your marriage bottled up inside you. It's crucial to make peace and move on by allowing yourself to be vulnerable and talking about your emotional journey. Whether with a best friend or a professional counselor, talk therapy can improve your happiness and health.

4. Don’t go it alone.

You need individuals in your life with whom you can vent freely. Regarding the divorce, the breakup of your marriage, the new normal of dating, how the kids are surviving... and more. It could be one or more close friends, family members, or mental health professionals, but don't isolate yourself without someone to talk to.

5. Do your best to ask for help.

When a marriage ends in divorce, everyone needs someone to listen. Friends, a support group, relatives, or your place of worship may be able to help. Make sure the folks you seek help from are supportive rather than toxic.

6. Take good care of yourself.

Don't drink or use drugs. Consume nutritious snacks and meals. Make sure you get enough rest. Ask your doctor if you can increase your workout sessions or make them more intense if you're having trouble sleeping.

7. Get to know your new self.

Forget who you were when you were married to your partner. As the ink on your divorce judgment dried, that version of you perished. Spend time figuring out your own particular objectives, preferences, and dreams.

8. Recognize that change can be difficult.

Extreme development spurts in children often result in literal growing pains. It might be painful to shift growth plates and stretch lengthy bones in the lower limbs. After a divorce, you may experience emotional and psychological growth. Inquire with your family law attorney about mental health professionals who can assist you in learning how to cope with the issues you confront post-divorce.